5 Steps to Take If You Think Your Dog Has Separation Anxiety

Apr 21

Do you suspect your dog is struggling when home alone?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or even a little defeated, you’re not alone. Separation anxiety can be one of the most emotionally taxing challenges to navigate.

As a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer who has been helping dogs (and their humans) through this for over 7 years, here are the first five steps I recommend to start getting a handle on your dog’s anxiety.

1. Confirm What You’re Actually Seeing

An accurate diagnosis matters, because the wrong plan can make things worse.

Dogs with separation anxiety can show a wide range of behaviors when they’re distressed around being alone. However, barking, destructive behavior, and accidents don’t automatically mean separation anxiety.

Understanding why the behavior is happening is the key to changing how your dog feels.

It’s important to distinguish true panic from things like:

Boredom
Unmet physical or mental needs
Confinement or crate-related anxiety
Incomplete house training

This ensures you’re focusing your efforts in the right place.

👉 You can read more in my blog: “Separation Anxiety, Confinement Anxiety, or Incomplete Crate Training?” or reach out to schedule a free discovery call if you want help sorting through what you’re seeing.

Next, observe and record your dog after you leave. This step is often eye-opening and incredibly valuable if you decide to work with a professional.

You can use:

A home security camera
A laptop
Even your phone

Dogs with separation anxiety often start showing stress before you even leave, such as:

Pacing
Whining
Following you closely

Once alone, this can escalate to:

Barking or howling
Inability to settle
Destruction
Panting or drooling

If this sounds familiar, you’re in the right place, keep reading!

2. Rule Out Health and Medical Contributors

Always check the body first.

Once you’ve identified that separation anxiety may be part of the picture, it’s important to look at your dog’s physical health.

Pain, fear, and anxiety are deeply connected in all mammals. Dogs are no exception.

Because their bodies and emotions are so closely linked, pain, especially chronic or unpredictable pain, can create ongoing stress. That stress activates the nervous system (fight or flight), releasing hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

And that internal stress often shows up as behaviors that are easy to misinterpret.

For example:

Pulling away, growling, or snapping during handling
Slowing down on walks or avoiding play
Hesitation jumping onto furniture or into the car
Subtle stress signals like panting, lip licking, yawning, or repetitive licking
Changes in house training
Increased sound sensitivity
Heightened distress when left alone

These aren’t “bad behaviors.” They’re signs of a body under stress.

The same goes for gut health. Digestive discomfort doesn’t just affect the stomach. Through the gut-brain connection, it can directly impact mood and anxiety levels.

A dog who feels unwell will have a much harder time coping with being alone.

I always recommend a thorough veterinary check before starting separation anxiety training. It can save time, money, and a lot of frustration for both of you.

3. Stop “Testing” Your Dog’s Limits

Repeated panic is not practice.

One of the most common mistakes I see is guardians pushing their dog just a little too far during absences to “see what happens.”

This often means leaving until the dog becomes slightly (or very) stressed.

The problem? This teaches your dog that alone time is unpredictable and unsafe.

Dogs with separation anxiety don’t need to “get used to it.”
They need to learn that being alone is safe and predictable.

A nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight mode can’t learn effectively. For learning to happen, your dog needs to feel calm enough to process the experience.

Which brings us to the next step.

4. Put Management in Place ASAP

Protect the process while your dog is learning.

Before starting a training plan, one of the most impactful things you can do is temporarily suspend absences.

In dog training, “management” means preventing the unwanted behavior from happening in the first place.

With separation anxiety, every time your dog is left alone and experiences panic, they are rehearsing that fear:

Vocalizing
Pacing
Destruction
Distress

The more this happens, the stronger the association becomes.

If your goal is to help your dog feel better about being alone, we need to reduce how often they experience that panic in the first place.

This usually means:

Not leaving your dog alone outside of structured training
Using support systems (friends, family, sitters, daycare, etc.)

This step can feel overwhelming, and you’re not alone if it does. But it’s also one of the most powerful ways to set your dog up for success.

👉 You can read more about suspending absences and how to make it realistic in daily life.

5. Start a Proper Training Plan (or Get Help)

Resolution requires a plan tailored to your dog.

Separation anxiety doesn’t have a quick fix. There’s no shortcut, no one-size-fits-all solution, and no “just do this one thing” answer.

It requires a thoughtful, individualized approach that considers:

Your dog’s history
Their environment
Their physical health
Your daily routine

Progress is often non-linear, and that’s completely normal.

For some dogs, this might look like short, structured sessions several days a week, starting with something as small as stepping out the door for seconds at a time.

For others, it may involve gradually building duration and introducing real-life routines.

Working with a professional can help you:

Avoid common setbacks
Move at the right pace
Feel supported throughout the process

You and your dog both deserve to feel safe, confident, and at ease when it’s time to separate.

Success doesn’t mean your dog never notices you leaving. It means they can stay relaxed, settle, and feel safe while you’re gone. And yes, that is possible.

What to Avoid

Avoid crating if it increases panic
Many dogs with separation anxiety feel more distressed when confined. More space can sometimes help, but this is highly individual.

Avoid waiting for “quiet” before returning
You are not reinforcing anxiety by returning to your dog when they’re distressed. You’re relieving it. Emotions aren’t reinforced the way behaviors are, and reducing distress is part of the process.

Avoid relying on exercise as a fix
A tired dog can still be an anxious dog. Meeting your dog’s needs is essential, but exhaustion doesn’t resolve fear. In some cases, it can even make things worse.

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If you’re not sure where to start, I’m happy to help you sort through what you’re seeing.

Book a Virtual Assessment & Custom Action Plan